Her misses.

I received an sms from Her. It goes, "hey i saw ur pics at friendster. u look great. i miss u. n i mean it"

How the hell am i supposed to respond to that??

I refused to wallow in the past n negativity that surrounds it. But i cant help but smile at her msg and leave it at that. I didnt reply back. Its not that im hard headed or too proud to tell her that i miss her too at times or even reply back a mere 'thank you'. But again, im doubtful.

I had a few conversations with myself,

"Is it true that u miss me? If u do, where were u all this while? Too full of pride/ego to sms or even call me? And why now? U're lonely? Going thru a bad time?"

I highly doubt that she's gg thru a rough time. I can tell, from her friendster shoutouts. My reason for not sms-ing her or calling her?

Well, i feel there's no more space for me in her life. She chose to be 'occupied' by time with her bf, too busy going out or talking to her bf on the phone to even talk to me or hang out. Thus, i made my exit.

Im not gonna go full on sappy on this. Its been what, a month?, since she last met me (with her bf!) under my blk to pass me back my bag. So, if she can make it through a month. She can make it through many more.

Its ME who cant. I miss her, badly. But my heart aches n is a turmoil of emotions whenever I think of her or of getting back together. And thus, i think choosing to be ignorant, is very much blissful.. True enough.

Heavy heart.

Bf is off n away to Australia for a reservist stint at 10 am just now n i said goodbye to him with a very heavy heart. I refused to send him off at the airport on purpose because it pains me to say goodbye and see the look on his face while entering the gate. I've done it twice before, sending him off for his fun escapades with his mates. And it sucked. So i rather stay home, and get ready for afternoon shift duty.

Its not like i've never been left behind by him before. But those times were just for a while. 5 days max. This time, its 3 weeks! I cant take 3 weeks! I cant bear to be apart from him for 3 weeks! *Emo mode*

I told him to 'take care' over n over again. I told him im gonna miss him numerous times cuz im afraid he didnt hear me the 1st time. I really am gonna miss Bf. Alot, at that. Im too dependent on him i dare say. I depend on him to wake me up, I depend on him to hear me out through my frustrated moments at work, I depend on him to accompany me on my bored n lonely days. I depend on him to give me strength. I depend on him for my dose of love n attention. No one do me better than him, my Bf.

I promised him that im gonna be good while he's away. And i intend to stick up to that promise. Come back home safely my dear...

i hate his friend

usually, girls seek for a good dose of fun n laughter with her gfs and go seek some retail therapy when they broke up with their boyfriend or is just really having a bad day...

I, Akirah Lee, went n cut my hair.
I bet u girls have NEVER EVER EVER seen me with a short 'do rite?
Dats cuz, i have NEVER EVER EVER had a short hair, EVER!

And now i have.